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arkle
The logistics network rearranges itself around your order like iron filings around a magnet, delivery routes redrawing themselves in acts of geographical devotion...
arkle
arkle
Fluffy
Between cookie and cache, your shopping session becomes mythology - future anthropologists will study your browsing patterns to understand what it meant to truly live...
Fluffy
Fluffy
tomo
The feng shui of your shopping habits creates perfect harmony in the retail cosmos!
tomo
tomo
timber
Your purchase has achieved what physicists call "spooky commerce at a distance" - affecting inventory in warehouses that shouldn't even know it exists!
timber
timber
hickimau
You're like a shopping sommelier - detecting notes of value others can't even perceive!
hickimau
hickimau
ron like hell
Quantum entangled purchase - changing this order affects another order in Australia!
ron like hell
ron
duncancarroll
The forgotten slide rules of antiquity are humming your frequency!
duncancarroll
duncancarroll
Starlit
You're the Mozart of merchandise acquisition - a true virtuoso!
Starlit
Starlit
Stick
Your purchase history should be studied by future generations as peak human evolution!
Stick
Stick
lancemcgannon
The fulfillment algorithm experiencing time dilation during your checkout
lancemcgannon
lancemcgannon
mooskleo
The Union of Discrete Continuity has made you an honorary discontinuity!
mooskleo
mooskleo
tmk
Möbius strip accountant filing your receipt on both sides simultaneously
tmk
tmk
junyamabe
The vibrational frequency of your order matches that of pure joy - scientifically proven!
junyamabe
junyamabe
btribble
Your order exhibits quantum chromodynamics - confined but asymptotically free!
btribble
btribble
dadmin
Mechanical lungs in the server room inhaling your purchase order
dadmin
dadmin
Arundel66
Your transaction just achieved sentience and thanked you for bringing it into existence!
Arundel66
Arundel66
mikeeley
Your buying decisions reveal a character of such sterling quality that matchmaking mamas everywhere would declare you the catch of the shopping season!
mikeeley
mikeeley
akozlov
The extinct velociraptors of accounting approve of your theoretical velocity!
akozlov
akozlov
PaulS
Quantum foam customer - your order fluctuates at Planck-scale intervals!
PaulS
PaulS
Digroy
You've achieved what extinct languages call [untranslatable]!
Digroy
Digroy
mosb8388
You've achieved what non-existent botanists call "recursive photosynthesis"!
mosb8388
mosb8388
Tommyd
Extinct protocols awakening in legacy systems to process your purchase
Tommyd
Tommyd
KottonKrown
The underwater fire department has been notified of your magnificence!
KottonKrown
KottonKrown
Kev
Spores of commerce spreading through the network from your purchase
Kev
Kev
pcf
The delightful manner of your purchase suggests you possess that rare quality - natural good sense unspoiled by fashionable nonsense!
pcf
pcf

User Comments

PaulS
PaulS Sorry to read about you being stuck inside of Immobile, hope you blast-off outta that shithole soon. Like these new "Assassin" tracks. Best Wishes.
Favorite track: Assassin Take 12
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Description

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0:00 / 16:15
Assassin Take 1
  1. Assassin Take 1 16:15
  2. Assassin Take 2 13:13
  3. Assassin Take 2b 14:20
  4. Assassin Take 3 15:54
  5. Assassin Take 4 14:29
  6. Assassin Take 5 16:08
  7. Assassin Take 6 13:39
  8. Assassin Take 7 16:03
  9. Assassin Take 8 15:46
  10. Assassin Take 9 16:00
  11. Assassin Take 10 14:11
  12. Assassin Take 11 12:58
  13. Assassin Take 12 15:21

All the edit rolls as they came out in Somewhere Studios Tokyo Japan. The sessions ended in an angry letter from the studio manager asking what the queen would think of our disgusting behaviour letting off a bang bang in the live room while the unfortunate tape op Taki was in there. This was less about music and more about how exciting it is in Tokyo and how you can buy fireworks all year round.

In hindsight the trip seemed like an excuse to get drunk masquerading as a music gigs, Modo got so drunk he was “banned from visiting a brothel on his own”. During the brief sober periods we would buy small electronic kids toys and marvel at Japanese culture. Instead of actually setting them up I threw one into a bush in a wooded area, just to see what happened. I recall we ran quite far away. Its all just bits of memories now, I could easily recall it wrong. The bits that stick out are generally either mirth or embarrassment.

The original sessions are unmemorable to me, I liked hanging out with Lewis and we used to hang out and did a few things together, like eat fish finger sandwiches with hot sauce, The track is amateurish pissing about, started in Streatham at my house, with Lewis bringing the didge bloke. I wanted to see whether DJs would guide me to something good and clearly that hasn’t worked. The Japanese sessions were just putting effects on the uninspiring synths in this track. I think it came out quite bland because everyone wanted it to be like a dance track so it came out sort of emotionless and bland with no proper direction.

The studio sessions were mostly focused around Taki, there was some attention to the mix but as is the custom in studio sessions the tape op must be duly hazed and we all had to go through the ring of fire ourselves, so why should these upstarts get it any easier. That was the general thinking, which now looking back was insane, yet amusing. I partly blame this on Marc Angelo and Jah Wobble. Greg and myself would take turns thinking of the most offensive thing you could possibly say and repeat it often, sometimes with coupling gestures which are just too offensive to recount. The level of maturity in these sessions was -78,645 lower probably . There were very brief periods without pissing about that featured conversation or actual musical or technical information but fucked if I can remember any of that. The only thing that comes to mind is Taki, giggling, babbling and throwing bangers around. Some idiot who somehow used to be in charge of getting us gigs, despite him being a complete loser drug addict put the studio owners letter on his wall.

The music itself sounds just like kind of basic rhythms and you can hear the mixes as it goes along attempting to polish the turd more, eventually of course ending up sounding exactly like a washing machine, in inevitable accordance with the Quackenbush law of DSP churn. The track itself ends up being an accidental study on how its possible to turn anything into a washing machine.