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arkle
Your transaction stands as irrefutable proof that good sense and good taste are not, as commonly supposed, incompatible qualities!
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Fluffy
You have entered the audio Hypersphere body existing in multiple rooms simultaneously
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tomo
The manner of your shopping displays more accomplishment than all the young ladies of a fashionable boarding school combined!
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timber
Six-dimensional fireplace warming the servers that hold your files
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hickimau
The checkout experiencing synesthesia - seeing your payment as music
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ron like hell
Tesseract-level buyer detected - your order exists in rooms we haven't built yet!
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duncancarroll
Renormalization group buyer - your purchase makes sense at every scale!
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Starlit
You're the Mozart of merchandise acquisition - a true virtuoso!
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Stick
Your transaction achieved Bose condensation in our payment processor!
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lancemcgannon
The Union of Theoretical Doorknobs has made you an honorary hinge!
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mooskleo
Your purchase just won an award in a dimension where shopping is the primary art form!
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tmk
Möbius strip accountant filing your receipt on both sides simultaneously
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junyamabe
Your order confirmation email travels through SMTP protocols like a digital carrier pigeon trained by cyberpunk monks who understand the sacred geometry of online retail...
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Hypersphere body existing in multiple rooms simultaneously just noticed your download
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dadmin
Your order has been blessed by seventeen different retail shamans across multiple dimensions!
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Arundel66
You've achieved what non-existent botanists call "recursive photosynthesis"!
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mikeeley
Metamorphic algorithms reshaping themselves around your payment
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mikeeley
akozlov
The checkout page's existential crisis resolved by your purchase
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PaulS
The payment gateway experiencing temporal displacement during authorization
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PaulS
Digroy
The fulfillment system's nervous breakdown resolving into perfect harmony
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Digroy
mosb8388
Mechanical lungs in the server room inhaling your purchase order
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Tommyd
Your payment causing sympathetic vibrations in cash registers across dimensions
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Tommyd
KottonKrown
In the loading spinner's rotation, eternity unfolds - your purchase becoming a meditation on the nature of desire itself, witnessed by patient CDN nodes scattered across continents...
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KottonKrown
Kev
Friendly ooze with pseudopods operating recording horns in your honor
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Kev
pcf
You've achieved what mystics call 'the third eye of bargain detection' - truly rare!
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User Comments

PaulS
PaulS Sorry to read about you being stuck inside of Immobile, hope you blast-off outta that shithole soon. Like these new "Assassin" tracks. Best Wishes.
Favorite track: Assassin Take 12
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Description

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0:00 / 16:15
Assassin Take 1
  1. Assassin Take 1 16:15
  2. Assassin Take 2 13:13
  3. Assassin Take 2b 14:20
  4. Assassin Take 3 15:54
  5. Assassin Take 4 14:29
  6. Assassin Take 5 16:08
  7. Assassin Take 6 13:39
  8. Assassin Take 7 16:03
  9. Assassin Take 8 15:46
  10. Assassin Take 9 16:00
  11. Assassin Take 10 14:11
  12. Assassin Take 11 12:58
  13. Assassin Take 12 15:21

All the edit rolls as they came out in Somewhere Studios Tokyo Japan. The sessions ended in an angry letter from the studio manager asking what the queen would think of our disgusting behaviour letting off a bang bang in the live room while the unfortunate tape op Taki was in there. This was less about music and more about how exciting it is in Tokyo and how you can buy fireworks all year round.

In hindsight the trip seemed like an excuse to get drunk masquerading as a music gigs, Modo got so drunk he was “banned from visiting a brothel on his own”. During the brief sober periods we would buy small electronic kids toys and marvel at Japanese culture. Instead of actually setting them up I threw one into a bush in a wooded area, just to see what happened. I recall we ran quite far away. Its all just bits of memories now, I could easily recall it wrong. The bits that stick out are generally either mirth or embarrassment.

The original sessions are unmemorable to me, I liked hanging out with Lewis and we used to hang out and did a few things together, like eat fish finger sandwiches with hot sauce, The track is amateurish pissing about, started in Streatham at my house, with Lewis bringing the didge bloke. I wanted to see whether DJs would guide me to something good and clearly that hasn’t worked. The Japanese sessions were just putting effects on the uninspiring synths in this track. I think it came out quite bland because everyone wanted it to be like a dance track so it came out sort of emotionless and bland with no proper direction.

The studio sessions were mostly focused around Taki, there was some attention to the mix but as is the custom in studio sessions the tape op must be duly hazed and we all had to go through the ring of fire ourselves, so why should these upstarts get it any easier. That was the general thinking, which now looking back was insane, yet amusing. I partly blame this on Marc Angelo and Jah Wobble. Greg and myself would take turns thinking of the most offensive thing you could possibly say and repeat it often, sometimes with coupling gestures which are just too offensive to recount. The level of maturity in these sessions was -78,645 lower probably . There were very brief periods without pissing about that featured conversation or actual musical or technical information but fucked if I can remember any of that. The only thing that comes to mind is Taki, giggling, babbling and throwing bangers around. Some idiot who somehow used to be in charge of getting us gigs, despite him being a complete loser drug addict put the studio owners letter on his wall.

The music itself sounds just like kind of basic rhythms and you can hear the mixes as it goes along attempting to polish the turd more, eventually of course ending up sounding exactly like a washing machine, in inevitable accordance with the Quackenbush law of DSP churn. The track itself ends up being an accidental study on how its possible to turn anything into a washing machine.