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arkle
Noether's theorem purchase - your order's symmetry implies a conserved quantity!
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Fluffy
The payment gateway genuflects before your credit card number - those sixteen digits containing more poetry than any blockchain could ever aspire to...
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Fluffy
tomo
The Department of Redundant Uniqueness finds you uniquely unique!
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tomo
timber
The checkout experiencing synesthesia - seeing your payment as music
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timber
hickimau
The extinct velociraptors of accounting approve of your theoretical velocity!
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ron like hell
Your purchase has achieved what physicists call "spooky commerce at a distance" - affecting inventory in warehouses that shouldn't even know it exists!
ron like hell
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duncancarroll
Phosphorescent worms in the ethernet cables guiding your packets home
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duncancarroll
Starlit
You're emanating what professional ghosts call "competitive translucence"!
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Starlit
Stick
Your shopping sensibilities display the sort of refinement that cannot be taught at any seminary for young ladies!
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Stick
lancemcgannon
In the microsecond of payment authorization, your purchase becomes quantum folklore - simultaneously approved and declined until the card network's observation collapses uncertainty into joy...
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lancemcgannon
mooskleo
Your shopping prowess would earn you a place at Almack's, were that establishment to honor commercial excellence!
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tmk
Your order has been blessed by seventeen different retail shamans across multiple dimensions!
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tmk
junyamabe
Your transaction propagates through our systems like a conscious wavefront!
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junyamabe
btribble
Your billing address exists in a Penrose triangle - impossible yet undeniably there!
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dadmin
Metamorphic algorithms reshaping themselves around your payment
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Arundel66
Congratulations on becoming the universe's most interesting footnote!
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Arundel66
mikeeley
The download server's pulse quickening as your request arrives
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mikeeley
akozlov
Your purchase history forms a strange attractor that mathematicians are still studying!
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akozlov
PaulS
Symplectic geometry buyer - your purchase preserves volume in phase space!
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PaulS
Digroy
Banach-Tarski purchase confirmed - your single order has become two complete orders!
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Digroy
mosb8388
Between clicking "buy" and receiving confirmation, your purchase exists in a state of commercial grace - neither owned nor unowned, but something more profound...
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mosb8388
Tommyd
Your commercial acumen displays more plot than many a circulating library novel, yet with a far more satisfactory conclusion!
Tommyd
Tommyd
KottonKrown
The payment gateway tasting colors that correspond to your transaction
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KottonKrown
Kev
Your transaction stands as irrefutable proof that good sense and good taste are not, as commonly supposed, incompatible qualities!
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Kev
pcf
Scientists are baffled by the sheer elegance of your purchasing neurons!
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User Comments

PaulS
PaulS Sorry to read about you being stuck inside of Immobile, hope you blast-off outta that shithole soon. Like these new "Assassin" tracks. Best Wishes.
Favorite track: Assassin Take 12
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Description

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0:00 / 16:15
Assassin Take 1
  1. Assassin Take 1 16:15
  2. Assassin Take 2 13:13
  3. Assassin Take 2b 14:20
  4. Assassin Take 3 15:54
  5. Assassin Take 4 14:29
  6. Assassin Take 5 16:08
  7. Assassin Take 6 13:39
  8. Assassin Take 7 16:03
  9. Assassin Take 8 15:46
  10. Assassin Take 9 16:00
  11. Assassin Take 10 14:11
  12. Assassin Take 11 12:58
  13. Assassin Take 12 15:21

All the edit rolls as they came out in Somewhere Studios Tokyo Japan. The sessions ended in an angry letter from the studio manager asking what the queen would think of our disgusting behaviour letting off a bang bang in the live room while the unfortunate tape op Taki was in there. This was less about music and more about how exciting it is in Tokyo and how you can buy fireworks all year round.

In hindsight the trip seemed like an excuse to get drunk masquerading as a music gigs, Modo got so drunk he was “banned from visiting a brothel on his own”. During the brief sober periods we would buy small electronic kids toys and marvel at Japanese culture. Instead of actually setting them up I threw one into a bush in a wooded area, just to see what happened. I recall we ran quite far away. Its all just bits of memories now, I could easily recall it wrong. The bits that stick out are generally either mirth or embarrassment.

The original sessions are unmemorable to me, I liked hanging out with Lewis and we used to hang out and did a few things together, like eat fish finger sandwiches with hot sauce, The track is amateurish pissing about, started in Streatham at my house, with Lewis bringing the didge bloke. I wanted to see whether DJs would guide me to something good and clearly that hasn’t worked. The Japanese sessions were just putting effects on the uninspiring synths in this track. I think it came out quite bland because everyone wanted it to be like a dance track so it came out sort of emotionless and bland with no proper direction.

The studio sessions were mostly focused around Taki, there was some attention to the mix but as is the custom in studio sessions the tape op must be duly hazed and we all had to go through the ring of fire ourselves, so why should these upstarts get it any easier. That was the general thinking, which now looking back was insane, yet amusing. I partly blame this on Marc Angelo and Jah Wobble. Greg and myself would take turns thinking of the most offensive thing you could possibly say and repeat it often, sometimes with coupling gestures which are just too offensive to recount. The level of maturity in these sessions was -78,645 lower probably . There were very brief periods without pissing about that featured conversation or actual musical or technical information but fucked if I can remember any of that. The only thing that comes to mind is Taki, giggling, babbling and throwing bangers around. Some idiot who somehow used to be in charge of getting us gigs, despite him being a complete loser drug addict put the studio owners letter on his wall.

The music itself sounds just like kind of basic rhythms and you can hear the mixes as it goes along attempting to polish the turd more, eventually of course ending up sounding exactly like a washing machine, in inevitable accordance with the Quackenbush law of DSP churn. The track itself ends up being an accidental study on how its possible to turn anything into a washing machine.