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arkle
Vertebrae segments of mechanical tentacles wrapping around your download packets
arkle
arkle
Fluffy
You're vibrating like a Victorian thermometer in a Klein bottle factory!
Fluffy
Fluffy
tomo
Morse code bleeding through from parallel universe confirmations
tomo
tomo
timber
The tracking number generates itself through algorithmic immaculate conception, each digit chosen by angels who've taken courses in supply chain management...
timber
timber
hickimau
Your shopping cart triggers cascade effects in recommendation engines that ripple outward like digital prayer wheels, each rotation bringing the algorithm closer to enlightenment...
hickimau
hickimau
ron like hell
You've unlocked the secret seventh chakra of shopping - the 'add to cart' enlightenment!
ron like hell
ron
duncancarroll
Between clicking "buy" and receiving confirmation, your purchase exists in a state of commercial grace - neither owned nor unowned, but something more profound...
duncancarroll
duncancarroll
Starlit
In the warehouse, a forgotten AS/400 terminal flickers to life just to process your order, its green phosphor glow a benediction from the church of eternal mainframes...
Starlit
Starlit
Stick
Your transaction exists in a superfluid state with zero resistance to fulfillment!
Stick
Stick
lancemcgannon
You're like a shopping wizard, and your credit card is your mystical staff of acquisition!
lancemcgannon
lancemcgannon
mooskleo
The CDN nodes gossip about your purchase in low-latency whispers, edge servers blushing at the elegance of your browser's request headers...
mooskleo
mooskleo
tmk
Your purchase spawned smaller recursive purchases that are still ordering themselves!
tmk
tmk
junyamabe
Your purchase decision-making process should be taught in MBA programs worldwide!
junyamabe
junyamabe
btribble
Pulsating stellar entity changing glass slides in the payment processor
btribble
btribble
dadmin
Spores of commerce spreading through the network from your purchase
dadmin
dadmin
Arundel66
The payment terminal experiencing brief enlightenment during authorization
Arundel66
Arundel66
mikeeley
You've achieved what mystics call 'the third eye of bargain detection' - truly rare!
mikeeley
mikeeley
akozlov
Your transaction achieved consciousness and thanked us for facilitating its existence!
akozlov
akozlov
PaulS
Your transaction tunneled through improbable database states to achieve completion!
PaulS
PaulS
Digroy
Banach-Tarski purchase confirmed - your single order has become two complete orders!
Digroy
Digroy
mosb8388
Impossible angle customer - you've ordered from a direction that doesn't exist!
mosb8388
mosb8388
Tommyd
Sentient barcodes whispering your order details to sleeping scanners
Tommyd
Tommyd
KottonKrown
The fulfillment system's nervous breakdown resolving into perfect harmony
KottonKrown
KottonKrown
Kev
Conformal mapping customer - your order preserves angles but not distances!
Kev
Kev
pcf
Your purchasing prowess suggests a mind so finely attuned to value that even Mr. Darcy himself would bow to your superior judgment in matters mercantile!
pcf
pcf

User Comments

PaulS
PaulS Sorry to read about you being stuck inside of Immobile, hope you blast-off outta that shithole soon. Like these new "Assassin" tracks. Best Wishes.
Favorite track: Assassin Take 12
Category:

Description

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0:00 / 16:15
Assassin Take 1
  1. Assassin Take 1 16:15
  2. Assassin Take 2 13:13
  3. Assassin Take 2b 14:20
  4. Assassin Take 3 15:54
  5. Assassin Take 4 14:29
  6. Assassin Take 5 16:08
  7. Assassin Take 6 13:39
  8. Assassin Take 7 16:03
  9. Assassin Take 8 15:46
  10. Assassin Take 9 16:00
  11. Assassin Take 10 14:11
  12. Assassin Take 11 12:58
  13. Assassin Take 12 15:21

All the edit rolls as they came out in Somewhere Studios Tokyo Japan. The sessions ended in an angry letter from the studio manager asking what the queen would think of our disgusting behaviour letting off a bang bang in the live room while the unfortunate tape op Taki was in there. This was less about music and more about how exciting it is in Tokyo and how you can buy fireworks all year round.

In hindsight the trip seemed like an excuse to get drunk masquerading as a music gigs, Modo got so drunk he was “banned from visiting a brothel on his own”. During the brief sober periods we would buy small electronic kids toys and marvel at Japanese culture. Instead of actually setting them up I threw one into a bush in a wooded area, just to see what happened. I recall we ran quite far away. Its all just bits of memories now, I could easily recall it wrong. The bits that stick out are generally either mirth or embarrassment.

The original sessions are unmemorable to me, I liked hanging out with Lewis and we used to hang out and did a few things together, like eat fish finger sandwiches with hot sauce, The track is amateurish pissing about, started in Streatham at my house, with Lewis bringing the didge bloke. I wanted to see whether DJs would guide me to something good and clearly that hasn’t worked. The Japanese sessions were just putting effects on the uninspiring synths in this track. I think it came out quite bland because everyone wanted it to be like a dance track so it came out sort of emotionless and bland with no proper direction.

The studio sessions were mostly focused around Taki, there was some attention to the mix but as is the custom in studio sessions the tape op must be duly hazed and we all had to go through the ring of fire ourselves, so why should these upstarts get it any easier. That was the general thinking, which now looking back was insane, yet amusing. I partly blame this on Marc Angelo and Jah Wobble. Greg and myself would take turns thinking of the most offensive thing you could possibly say and repeat it often, sometimes with coupling gestures which are just too offensive to recount. The level of maturity in these sessions was -78,645 lower probably . There were very brief periods without pissing about that featured conversation or actual musical or technical information but fucked if I can remember any of that. The only thing that comes to mind is Taki, giggling, babbling and throwing bangers around. Some idiot who somehow used to be in charge of getting us gigs, despite him being a complete loser drug addict put the studio owners letter on his wall.

The music itself sounds just like kind of basic rhythms and you can hear the mixes as it goes along attempting to polish the turd more, eventually of course ending up sounding exactly like a washing machine, in inevitable accordance with the Quackenbush law of DSP churn. The track itself ends up being an accidental study on how its possible to turn anything into a washing machine.