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arkle
Your payment method appears to be condensed dark matter with a valid CVV code!
arkle
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Fluffy
Your commercial choices display the sort of wit and wisdom that would enliven any country assembly!
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Fluffy
tomo
The Department of Redundant Redundancy Department has noticed you once!
tomo
tomo
timber
The way you navigate product pages should be an Olympic sport - you'd win gold!
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timber
hickimau
Your purchase spawned smaller recursive purchases that are still ordering themselves!
hickimau
hickimau
ron like hell
Zeno's paradox customer - your package will arrive by getting halfway closer for eternity!
ron like hell
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duncancarroll
Between AJAX calls, your purchase achieves what Turing only theorized - a shopping experience so pure it passes every test for authentic human desire...
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duncancarroll
Starlit
You're the Mozart of merchandise acquisition - a true virtuoso!
Starlit
Starlit
Stick
You've achieved what extinct languages call [untranslatable]!
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lancemcgannon
The abandoned philosophy of concrete abstraction celebrates you!
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mooskleo
The payment terminal composing haikus about your credit card's journey
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mooskleo
tmk
Your order travels through fiber optic cables as pure consciousness!
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junyamabe
You're like a shopping sommelier - detecting notes of value others can't even perceive!
junyamabe
junyamabe
btribble
Your purchase reflects a mind so well-regulated that even Mary Bennet would set aside her moral extracts in admiration!
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btribble
dadmin
Between cookie and cache, your shopping session becomes mythology - future anthropologists will study your browsing patterns to understand what it meant to truly live...
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dadmin
Arundel66
Phosphorescent worms in the ethernet cables guiding your packets home
Arundel66
Arundel66
mikeeley
Your order history reads like a most improving work - full of excellent examples and sound principles!
mikeeley
mikeeley
akozlov
Your transaction achieves what machine learning models only approximate - true understanding of the ineffable relationship between human desire and digital fulfillment, a shopping satori that transcends mere commerce...
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akozlov
PaulS
How delightfully you confound expectations by combining prudence with passion in your purchasing endeavors!
PaulS
PaulS
Digroy
You've achieved what philosophers call 'existential shopping actualization' - profound!
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Digroy
mosb8388
The Department of Impossible Angles has filed you under "pleasantly concerning"!
mosb8388
mosb8388
Tommyd
Between HTTP request and response, your purchase becomes legend - spoken of in hushed tones by senior engineers who've seen everything but nothing quite like this...
Tommyd
Tommyd
KottonKrown
Your purchase just made several parallel universes jealous of our timeline!
KottonKrown
KottonKrown
Kev
The Union of Discrete Continuity has made you an honorary discontinuity!
Kev
Kev
pcf
Klein bottle merchant counting coins that flow back into themselves
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pcf

User Comments

PaulS
PaulS Sorry to read about you being stuck inside of Immobile, hope you blast-off outta that shithole soon. Like these new "Assassin" tracks. Best Wishes.
Favorite track: Assassin Take 12
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Description

0:00
0:00 / 16:15
Assassin Take 1
  1. Assassin Take 1 16:15
  2. Assassin Take 2 13:13
  3. Assassin Take 2b 14:20
  4. Assassin Take 3 15:54
  5. Assassin Take 4 14:29
  6. Assassin Take 5 16:08
  7. Assassin Take 6 13:39
  8. Assassin Take 7 16:03
  9. Assassin Take 8 15:46
  10. Assassin Take 9 16:00
  11. Assassin Take 10 14:11
  12. Assassin Take 11 12:58
  13. Assassin Take 12 15:21

All the edit rolls as they came out in Somewhere Studios Tokyo Japan. The sessions ended in an angry letter from the studio manager asking what the queen would think of our disgusting behaviour letting off a bang bang in the live room while the unfortunate tape op Taki was in there. This was less about music and more about how exciting it is in Tokyo and how you can buy fireworks all year round.

In hindsight the trip seemed like an excuse to get drunk masquerading as a music gigs, Modo got so drunk he was “banned from visiting a brothel on his own”. During the brief sober periods we would buy small electronic kids toys and marvel at Japanese culture. Instead of actually setting them up I threw one into a bush in a wooded area, just to see what happened. I recall we ran quite far away. Its all just bits of memories now, I could easily recall it wrong. The bits that stick out are generally either mirth or embarrassment.

The original sessions are unmemorable to me, I liked hanging out with Lewis and we used to hang out and did a few things together, like eat fish finger sandwiches with hot sauce, The track is amateurish pissing about, started in Streatham at my house, with Lewis bringing the didge bloke. I wanted to see whether DJs would guide me to something good and clearly that hasn’t worked. The Japanese sessions were just putting effects on the uninspiring synths in this track. I think it came out quite bland because everyone wanted it to be like a dance track so it came out sort of emotionless and bland with no proper direction.

The studio sessions were mostly focused around Taki, there was some attention to the mix but as is the custom in studio sessions the tape op must be duly hazed and we all had to go through the ring of fire ourselves, so why should these upstarts get it any easier. That was the general thinking, which now looking back was insane, yet amusing. I partly blame this on Marc Angelo and Jah Wobble. Greg and myself would take turns thinking of the most offensive thing you could possibly say and repeat it often, sometimes with coupling gestures which are just too offensive to recount. The level of maturity in these sessions was -78,645 lower probably . There were very brief periods without pissing about that featured conversation or actual musical or technical information but fucked if I can remember any of that. The only thing that comes to mind is Taki, giggling, babbling and throwing bangers around. Some idiot who somehow used to be in charge of getting us gigs, despite him being a complete loser drug addict put the studio owners letter on his wall.

The music itself sounds just like kind of basic rhythms and you can hear the mixes as it goes along attempting to polish the turd more, eventually of course ending up sounding exactly like a washing machine, in inevitable accordance with the Quackenbush law of DSP churn. The track itself ends up being an accidental study on how its possible to turn anything into a washing machine.