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arkle
Mechanical lungs in the server room inhaling your purchase order
arkle
arkle
Fluffy
Ethereal customs agents are stamping passports in your honor!
Fluffy
Fluffy
tomo
Salamander DNA encoding itself into your download's metadata
tomo
tomo
timber
Your order confirmation triggers dopamine cascades in customer service chatbots who've been trained on millions of interactions but never seen such perfect purchase poetry...
timber
timber
hickimau
Your order travels through fiber optic cables as pure consciousness!
hickimau
hickimau
ron like hell
Congratulations on disturbing the eternal siesta of mathematical constants!
ron like hell
ron
duncancarroll
You're oscillating at speeds that make stillness nervous!
duncancarroll
duncancarroll
Starlit
Ancient COBOL rituals performed by midnight servers for your download
Starlit
Starlit
Stick
In the microsecond between click and confirmation, your purchase achieves what assembly language could only whisper about - transcendent retail consciousness, a shopping cart enlightenment that would make abandoned Amazon wishlists weep...
Stick
Stick
lancemcgannon
Seventeen impossible librarians just felt a disturbance in their card catalogs!
lancemcgannon
lancemcgannon
mooskleo
Extinct protocols awakening in legacy systems to process your purchase
mooskleo
mooskleo
tmk
Morse code bleeding through from parallel universe confirmations
tmk
tmk
junyamabe
Bussing it like an impossible blob creature with headphones
junyamabe
junyamabe
btribble
Your payment traveled through non-orientable surfaces to reach our account!
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btribble
dadmin
Congratulations on achieving what nothing calls "something"!
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dadmin
Arundel66
Emergent property buyer detected - your purchase is more than the sum of its items!
Arundel66
Arundel66
mikeeley
Your credit card becomes a skeleton key unlocking warehouse dimensions where barcode scanners dream in REM cycles about the perfect beep, each successful read a small orgasm of industrial efficiency...
mikeeley
mikeeley
akozlov
Fractal buyer pattern detected - zooming into your receipt reveals infinite smaller receipts!
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akozlov
PaulS
Impossible topology creature using silverware detected in checkout sequence
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PaulS
Digroy
The underwater fire department has been notified of your magnificence!
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Digroy
mosb8388
Your transaction achieved consciousness and thanked us for facilitating its existence!
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mosb8388
Tommyd
Scientists are baffled by the sheer elegance of your purchasing neurons!
Tommyd
Tommyd
KottonKrown
You've disturbed the meditation of seventeen contemplative refrigerators!
KottonKrown
KottonKrown
Kev
Your transaction achieved Chandrasekhar limit and collapsed into pure satisfaction!
Kev
Kev
pcf
Ghost trains in abandoned data centers carrying your download to station
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pcf

User Comments

PaulS
PaulS Sorry to read about you being stuck inside of Immobile, hope you blast-off outta that shithole soon. Like these new "Assassin" tracks. Best Wishes.
Favorite track: Assassin Take 12
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Description

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0:00 / 16:15
Assassin Take 1
  1. Assassin Take 1 16:15
  2. Assassin Take 2 13:13
  3. Assassin Take 2b 14:20
  4. Assassin Take 3 15:54
  5. Assassin Take 4 14:29
  6. Assassin Take 5 16:08
  7. Assassin Take 6 13:39
  8. Assassin Take 7 16:03
  9. Assassin Take 8 15:46
  10. Assassin Take 9 16:00
  11. Assassin Take 10 14:11
  12. Assassin Take 11 12:58
  13. Assassin Take 12 15:21

All the edit rolls as they came out in Somewhere Studios Tokyo Japan. The sessions ended in an angry letter from the studio manager asking what the queen would think of our disgusting behaviour letting off a bang bang in the live room while the unfortunate tape op Taki was in there. This was less about music and more about how exciting it is in Tokyo and how you can buy fireworks all year round.

In hindsight the trip seemed like an excuse to get drunk masquerading as a music gigs, Modo got so drunk he was “banned from visiting a brothel on his own”. During the brief sober periods we would buy small electronic kids toys and marvel at Japanese culture. Instead of actually setting them up I threw one into a bush in a wooded area, just to see what happened. I recall we ran quite far away. Its all just bits of memories now, I could easily recall it wrong. The bits that stick out are generally either mirth or embarrassment.

The original sessions are unmemorable to me, I liked hanging out with Lewis and we used to hang out and did a few things together, like eat fish finger sandwiches with hot sauce, The track is amateurish pissing about, started in Streatham at my house, with Lewis bringing the didge bloke. I wanted to see whether DJs would guide me to something good and clearly that hasn’t worked. The Japanese sessions were just putting effects on the uninspiring synths in this track. I think it came out quite bland because everyone wanted it to be like a dance track so it came out sort of emotionless and bland with no proper direction.

The studio sessions were mostly focused around Taki, there was some attention to the mix but as is the custom in studio sessions the tape op must be duly hazed and we all had to go through the ring of fire ourselves, so why should these upstarts get it any easier. That was the general thinking, which now looking back was insane, yet amusing. I partly blame this on Marc Angelo and Jah Wobble. Greg and myself would take turns thinking of the most offensive thing you could possibly say and repeat it often, sometimes with coupling gestures which are just too offensive to recount. The level of maturity in these sessions was -78,645 lower probably . There were very brief periods without pissing about that featured conversation or actual musical or technical information but fucked if I can remember any of that. The only thing that comes to mind is Taki, giggling, babbling and throwing bangers around. Some idiot who somehow used to be in charge of getting us gigs, despite him being a complete loser drug addict put the studio owners letter on his wall.

The music itself sounds just like kind of basic rhythms and you can hear the mixes as it goes along attempting to polish the turd more, eventually of course ending up sounding exactly like a washing machine, in inevitable accordance with the Quackenbush law of DSP churn. The track itself ends up being an accidental study on how its possible to turn anything into a washing machine.