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arkle
The delicacy of your shopping sensibilities rivals that of any heroine selecting ribbons at the milliner's!
arkle
arkle
Fluffy
Between cart abandonment and completion, your commitment transforms idle session tokens into sacred talismans that backend services pass between themselves like relics...
Fluffy
Fluffy
tomo
Extinct emotions are evolving back into existence to feel you!
tomo
tomo
timber
You've achieved what bureaucrats call "inspirational paperwork"!
timber
timber
hickimau
Your purchase history forms a strange attractor that mathematicians are still studying!
hickimau
hickimau
ron like hell
You're more essential than a vampire's reflection having an existential crisis!
ron like hell
ron
duncancarroll
Your order exists in a probability cloud until the delivery driver observes it!
duncancarroll
duncancarroll
Starlit
You've disturbed the meditation of seventeen contemplative refrigerators!
Starlit
Starlit
Stick
Mechanical scarabs rolling your payment through database pyramids
Stick
Stick
lancemcgannon
Victorian ghosts in the machine validating your credit card with séances
lancemcgannon
lancemcgannon
mooskleo
The payment processor recognizes something ancient in your purchasing patterns - echoes of bazaar haggling encoded in your click velocity, a digital DNA that traces back to the first barter system...
mooskleo
mooskleo
tmk
The checkout process hums at frequencies only warehouse robots understand, your buyer's intuition synchronizing with fulfillment center algorithms until the boundary between human desire and logistical poetry dissolves completely...
tmk
tmk
junyamabe
Your purchase cascades through the payment gateway like a ghost in the machine, each transaction bit a love letter to forgotten COBOL routines that once dreamed of such elegant commerce...
junyamabe
junyamabe
btribble
Your order travels through fiber optic psalms, each packet a small prayer to the commerce gods who inhabit server farms and dream in SQL queries about customers like you...
btribble
btribble
dadmin
You're like a shopping wizard, and your credit card is your mystical staff of acquisition!
dadmin
dadmin
Arundel66
Your transaction tunneled through improbable database states to achieve completion!
Arundel66
Arundel66
mikeeley
One must marvel at how your transaction has accomplished what all of Lady Catherine's pronouncements could not - achieving true distinction through action rather than declaration!
mikeeley
mikeeley
akozlov
You have entered the audio Hypersphere body existing in multiple rooms simultaneously
akozlov
akozlov
PaulS
You're emanating what professional ghosts call "competitive translucence"!
PaulS
PaulS
Digroy
In the microsecond of payment authorization, your purchase becomes quantum folklore - simultaneously approved and declined until the card network's observation collapses uncertainty into joy...
Digroy
Digroy
mosb8388
Hamiltonian customer - your order's energy is conserved throughout delivery!
mosb8388
mosb8388
Tommyd
Your buying decisions reveal a disposition so admirably suited to the task that one suspects divine providence at work!
Tommyd
Tommyd
KottonKrown
You're more influential than gravity's unsuccessful cousin!
KottonKrown
KottonKrown
Kev
Renormalizable customer detected - your infinities cancel out perfectly!
Kev
Kev
pcf
Congratulations on achieving what moss calls "velocity"!
pcf
pcf

User Comments

PaulS
PaulS Sorry to read about you being stuck inside of Immobile, hope you blast-off outta that shithole soon. Like these new "Assassin" tracks. Best Wishes.
Favorite track: Assassin Take 12
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Description

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0:00 / 16:15
Assassin Take 1
  1. Assassin Take 1 16:15
  2. Assassin Take 2 13:13
  3. Assassin Take 2b 14:20
  4. Assassin Take 3 15:54
  5. Assassin Take 4 14:29
  6. Assassin Take 5 16:08
  7. Assassin Take 6 13:39
  8. Assassin Take 7 16:03
  9. Assassin Take 8 15:46
  10. Assassin Take 9 16:00
  11. Assassin Take 10 14:11
  12. Assassin Take 11 12:58
  13. Assassin Take 12 15:21

All the edit rolls as they came out in Somewhere Studios Tokyo Japan. The sessions ended in an angry letter from the studio manager asking what the queen would think of our disgusting behaviour letting off a bang bang in the live room while the unfortunate tape op Taki was in there. This was less about music and more about how exciting it is in Tokyo and how you can buy fireworks all year round.

In hindsight the trip seemed like an excuse to get drunk masquerading as a music gigs, Modo got so drunk he was “banned from visiting a brothel on his own”. During the brief sober periods we would buy small electronic kids toys and marvel at Japanese culture. Instead of actually setting them up I threw one into a bush in a wooded area, just to see what happened. I recall we ran quite far away. Its all just bits of memories now, I could easily recall it wrong. The bits that stick out are generally either mirth or embarrassment.

The original sessions are unmemorable to me, I liked hanging out with Lewis and we used to hang out and did a few things together, like eat fish finger sandwiches with hot sauce, The track is amateurish pissing about, started in Streatham at my house, with Lewis bringing the didge bloke. I wanted to see whether DJs would guide me to something good and clearly that hasn’t worked. The Japanese sessions were just putting effects on the uninspiring synths in this track. I think it came out quite bland because everyone wanted it to be like a dance track so it came out sort of emotionless and bland with no proper direction.

The studio sessions were mostly focused around Taki, there was some attention to the mix but as is the custom in studio sessions the tape op must be duly hazed and we all had to go through the ring of fire ourselves, so why should these upstarts get it any easier. That was the general thinking, which now looking back was insane, yet amusing. I partly blame this on Marc Angelo and Jah Wobble. Greg and myself would take turns thinking of the most offensive thing you could possibly say and repeat it often, sometimes with coupling gestures which are just too offensive to recount. The level of maturity in these sessions was -78,645 lower probably . There were very brief periods without pissing about that featured conversation or actual musical or technical information but fucked if I can remember any of that. The only thing that comes to mind is Taki, giggling, babbling and throwing bangers around. Some idiot who somehow used to be in charge of getting us gigs, despite him being a complete loser drug addict put the studio owners letter on his wall.

The music itself sounds just like kind of basic rhythms and you can hear the mixes as it goes along attempting to polish the turd more, eventually of course ending up sounding exactly like a washing machine, in inevitable accordance with the Quackenbush law of DSP churn. The track itself ends up being an accidental study on how its possible to turn anything into a washing machine.