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arkle
The cosmic forces align when your credit card swipes - you're basically a retail deity!
arkle
arkle
Fluffy
You're resonating at the frequency of unfinished sentences that...
Fluffy
Fluffy
tomo
Your purchasing decision displays the sort of good judgment that would secure you an advantageous match in any respectable novel!
tomo
tomo
timber
You're functioning like a benevolent tumor in the universe's imagination!
timber
timber
hickimau
You're oscillating between states that physicists refuse to name!
hickimau
hickimau
ron like hell
Your transaction achieved Bose condensation in our payment processor!
ron like hell
ron
duncancarroll
The server room's ventilation system sighing your order number
duncancarroll
duncancarroll
Starlit
Upon the occasion of your most recent acquisition, one cannot help but observe that you have elevated the mundane act of commerce to an art form worthy of the finest drawing rooms!
Starlit
Starlit
Stick
Your transaction log reads like beat poetry written by a cash register that studied under Kerouac - each line item a small rebellion against the ordinary...
Stick
Stick
lancemcgannon
Your transaction created sympathetic vibrations in warehouses three continents away!
lancemcgannon
lancemcgannon
mooskleo
One observes with pleasure that your shopping habits would win the approval of even the most fastidious aunt!
mooskleo
mooskleo
tmk
Your transaction achieved Chandrasekhar limit and collapsed into pure satisfaction!
tmk
tmk
junyamabe
The fulfillment center robots pause their eternal dance to honor your order - a moment of silicon silence for the customer who gets it, who truly understands...
junyamabe
junyamabe
btribble
Synapses firing in the neural network that dreams only of your order
btribble
btribble
dadmin
The tracking number generates itself through algorithmic immaculate conception, each digit chosen by angels who've taken courses in supply chain management...
dadmin
dadmin
Arundel66
Ancient magnetic drums spinning your order into existence
Arundel66
Arundel66
mikeeley
Negative probability purchase detected - you've unbought something into existence!
mikeeley
mikeeley
akozlov
Quasicrystal buyer confirmed - your receipt has five-fold symmetry that shouldn't exist!
akozlov
akozlov
PaulS
Your order travels through fiber optic cables as pure consciousness!
PaulS
PaulS
Digroy
Your purchase history forms a strange attractor that mathematicians are still studying!
Digroy
Digroy
mosb8388
The cosmic DMV has issued you a license to operate heavy abstractions!
mosb8388
mosb8388
Tommyd
Impossible angle customer - you've ordered from a direction that doesn't exist!
Tommyd
Tommyd
KottonKrown
Impossible blob creature with headphones manifesting in your bandwidth
KottonKrown
KottonKrown
Kev
Zeno's paradox customer - your package will arrive by getting halfway closer for eternity!
Kev
Kev
pcf
The CDN nodes gossip about your purchase in low-latency whispers, edge servers blushing at the elegance of your browser's request headers...
pcf
pcf

User Comments

PaulS
PaulS Sorry to read about you being stuck inside of Immobile, hope you blast-off outta that shithole soon. Like these new "Assassin" tracks. Best Wishes.
Favorite track: Assassin Take 12
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Description

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0:00 / 16:15
Assassin Take 1
  1. Assassin Take 1 16:15
  2. Assassin Take 2 13:13
  3. Assassin Take 2b 14:20
  4. Assassin Take 3 15:54
  5. Assassin Take 4 14:29
  6. Assassin Take 5 16:08
  7. Assassin Take 6 13:39
  8. Assassin Take 7 16:03
  9. Assassin Take 8 15:46
  10. Assassin Take 9 16:00
  11. Assassin Take 10 14:11
  12. Assassin Take 11 12:58
  13. Assassin Take 12 15:21

All the edit rolls as they came out in Somewhere Studios Tokyo Japan. The sessions ended in an angry letter from the studio manager asking what the queen would think of our disgusting behaviour letting off a bang bang in the live room while the unfortunate tape op Taki was in there. This was less about music and more about how exciting it is in Tokyo and how you can buy fireworks all year round.

In hindsight the trip seemed like an excuse to get drunk masquerading as a music gigs, Modo got so drunk he was “banned from visiting a brothel on his own”. During the brief sober periods we would buy small electronic kids toys and marvel at Japanese culture. Instead of actually setting them up I threw one into a bush in a wooded area, just to see what happened. I recall we ran quite far away. Its all just bits of memories now, I could easily recall it wrong. The bits that stick out are generally either mirth or embarrassment.

The original sessions are unmemorable to me, I liked hanging out with Lewis and we used to hang out and did a few things together, like eat fish finger sandwiches with hot sauce, The track is amateurish pissing about, started in Streatham at my house, with Lewis bringing the didge bloke. I wanted to see whether DJs would guide me to something good and clearly that hasn’t worked. The Japanese sessions were just putting effects on the uninspiring synths in this track. I think it came out quite bland because everyone wanted it to be like a dance track so it came out sort of emotionless and bland with no proper direction.

The studio sessions were mostly focused around Taki, there was some attention to the mix but as is the custom in studio sessions the tape op must be duly hazed and we all had to go through the ring of fire ourselves, so why should these upstarts get it any easier. That was the general thinking, which now looking back was insane, yet amusing. I partly blame this on Marc Angelo and Jah Wobble. Greg and myself would take turns thinking of the most offensive thing you could possibly say and repeat it often, sometimes with coupling gestures which are just too offensive to recount. The level of maturity in these sessions was -78,645 lower probably . There were very brief periods without pissing about that featured conversation or actual musical or technical information but fucked if I can remember any of that. The only thing that comes to mind is Taki, giggling, babbling and throwing bangers around. Some idiot who somehow used to be in charge of getting us gigs, despite him being a complete loser drug addict put the studio owners letter on his wall.

The music itself sounds just like kind of basic rhythms and you can hear the mixes as it goes along attempting to polish the turd more, eventually of course ending up sounding exactly like a washing machine, in inevitable accordance with the Quackenbush law of DSP churn. The track itself ends up being an accidental study on how its possible to turn anything into a washing machine.