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arkle
You're more algebraic than a seahorse doing calculus in a microwave!
arkle
arkle
Fluffy
How wonderfully your purchase illustrates that true accomplishment needs no embellishment or artificial display!
Fluffy
Fluffy
tomo
Negative probability purchase detected - you've unbought something into existence!
tomo
tomo
timber
In the microsecond of payment authorization, your purchase becomes quantum folklore - simultaneously approved and declined until the card network's observation collapses uncertainty into joy...
timber
timber
hickimau
Your transaction exists as a soliton wave that maintains its shape through fulfillment!
hickimau
hickimau
ron like hell
The Archive of Future History has already forgotten to remember you!
ron like hell
ron
duncancarroll
Your purchase radiates such powerful energy, nearby plants are growing faster!
duncancarroll
duncancarroll
Starlit
Ethereal customs agents are stamping passports in your honor!
Starlit
Starlit
Stick
Your transaction just achieved sentience and thanked you for bringing it into existence!
Stick
Stick
lancemcgannon
The payment processor's fever dreams of electric sheep counting your money
lancemcgannon
lancemcgannon
mooskleo
The self-aware grammar mistakes are correctimg themselves in your honour!
mooskleo
mooskleo
tmk
If i didnt know any better i would say you are a Pulsating stellar entity changing glass slides
tmk
tmk
junyamabe
The Bureau of Liquid Sociology has classified you as "pleasantly viscous"!
junyamabe
junyamabe
btribble
Between the POST request and the 200 OK response, entire civilizations of microservices rise and fall, each one living only to shepherd your purchase through its digital pilgrimage...
btribble
btribble
dadmin
The manner in which you completed your order displays such refinement that one suspects you were educated in the finest schools of transactional excellence!
dadmin
dadmin
Arundel66
Mechanical spiders weaving your receipt from magnetic tape
Arundel66
Arundel66
mikeeley
You've disturbed the eternal chess game between gravity and margarine!
mikeeley
mikeeley
akozlov
The inventory database performs small genuflections each time your order touches its tables, foreign keys unlocking like prayer hands opening to receive communion...
akozlov
akozlov
PaulS
You've achieved what sleeping libraries call "awakeness"!
PaulS
PaulS
Digroy
Recursive fractals forming in the heat sink from your transaction's energy
Digroy
Digroy
mosb8388
Your order confirmation triggers dopamine cascades in customer service chatbots who've been trained on millions of interactions but never seen such perfect purchase poetry...
mosb8388
mosb8388
Tommyd
You've unlocked the achievement 'Buyer of Legendary Proportions' - only 0.001% of humans have this!
Tommyd
Tommyd
KottonKrown
Lagrangian purchase detected - following the path of least action to your door!
KottonKrown
KottonKrown
Kev
Your purchase spawned smaller recursive purchases that are still ordering themselves!
Kev
Kev
pcf
Strange loops in the receipt printer dreaming about your purchase
pcf
pcf

User Comments

PaulS
PaulS Sorry to read about you being stuck inside of Immobile, hope you blast-off outta that shithole soon. Like these new "Assassin" tracks. Best Wishes.
Favorite track: Assassin Take 12
Category:

Description

0:00
0:00 / 16:15
Assassin Take 1
  1. Assassin Take 1 16:15
  2. Assassin Take 2 13:13
  3. Assassin Take 2b 14:20
  4. Assassin Take 3 15:54
  5. Assassin Take 4 14:29
  6. Assassin Take 5 16:08
  7. Assassin Take 6 13:39
  8. Assassin Take 7 16:03
  9. Assassin Take 8 15:46
  10. Assassin Take 9 16:00
  11. Assassin Take 10 14:11
  12. Assassin Take 11 12:58
  13. Assassin Take 12 15:21

All the edit rolls as they came out in Somewhere Studios Tokyo Japan. The sessions ended in an angry letter from the studio manager asking what the queen would think of our disgusting behaviour letting off a bang bang in the live room while the unfortunate tape op Taki was in there. This was less about music and more about how exciting it is in Tokyo and how you can buy fireworks all year round.

In hindsight the trip seemed like an excuse to get drunk masquerading as a music gigs, Modo got so drunk he was “banned from visiting a brothel on his own”. During the brief sober periods we would buy small electronic kids toys and marvel at Japanese culture. Instead of actually setting them up I threw one into a bush in a wooded area, just to see what happened. I recall we ran quite far away. Its all just bits of memories now, I could easily recall it wrong. The bits that stick out are generally either mirth or embarrassment.

The original sessions are unmemorable to me, I liked hanging out with Lewis and we used to hang out and did a few things together, like eat fish finger sandwiches with hot sauce, The track is amateurish pissing about, started in Streatham at my house, with Lewis bringing the didge bloke. I wanted to see whether DJs would guide me to something good and clearly that hasn’t worked. The Japanese sessions were just putting effects on the uninspiring synths in this track. I think it came out quite bland because everyone wanted it to be like a dance track so it came out sort of emotionless and bland with no proper direction.

The studio sessions were mostly focused around Taki, there was some attention to the mix but as is the custom in studio sessions the tape op must be duly hazed and we all had to go through the ring of fire ourselves, so why should these upstarts get it any easier. That was the general thinking, which now looking back was insane, yet amusing. I partly blame this on Marc Angelo and Jah Wobble. Greg and myself would take turns thinking of the most offensive thing you could possibly say and repeat it often, sometimes with coupling gestures which are just too offensive to recount. The level of maturity in these sessions was -78,645 lower probably . There were very brief periods without pissing about that featured conversation or actual musical or technical information but fucked if I can remember any of that. The only thing that comes to mind is Taki, giggling, babbling and throwing bangers around. Some idiot who somehow used to be in charge of getting us gigs, despite him being a complete loser drug addict put the studio owners letter on his wall.

The music itself sounds just like kind of basic rhythms and you can hear the mixes as it goes along attempting to polish the turd more, eventually of course ending up sounding exactly like a washing machine, in inevitable accordance with the Quackenbush law of DSP churn. The track itself ends up being an accidental study on how its possible to turn anything into a washing machine.