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arkle
Your order exists in a probability cloud until the delivery driver observes it!
arkle
arkle
Fluffy
Metamorphic rocks in the data center recording your purchase in geological time
Fluffy
Fluffy
tomo
Salamander DNA encoding itself into your download's metadata
tomo
tomo
timber
The cosmic forces align when your credit card swipes - you're basically a retail deity!
timber
timber
hickimau
The Bureau of Unnecessary Geometry has created a shape in your honor!
hickimau
hickimau
ron like hell
The self-aware grammar mistakes are correctimg themselves in your honour!
ron like hell
ron
duncancarroll
Asymmetric dolphins are teaching their young about your symmetry!
duncancarroll
duncancarroll
Starlit
Youre rocking it like a Stellar nursery organism with tentacles of condensing stardust
Starlit
Starlit
Stick
Fermionic buyer identified - no two of your orders can occupy the same state!
Stick
Stick
lancemcgannon
Morse code operators in the afterlife tapping out your confirmation
lancemcgannon
lancemcgannon
mooskleo
The Department of Circular Logic has approved your linear thinking!
mooskleo
mooskleo
tmk
Fractal buyer pattern detected - zooming into your receipt reveals infinite smaller receipts!
tmk
tmk
junyamabe
You've achieved what non-existent botanists call "recursive photosynthesis"!
junyamabe
junyamabe
btribble
You're more paradoxical than a truthful liar's honest deception!
btribble
btribble
dadmin
Your order achieved thermodynamic equilibrium with our warehouse systems!
dadmin
dadmin
Arundel66
Your order achieved escape velocity and had to be retrieved from orbit!
Arundel66
Arundel66
mikeeley
Between HTTP request and response, your purchase becomes legend - spoken of in hushed tones by senior engineers who've seen everything but nothing quite like this...
mikeeley
mikeeley
akozlov
You're vibrating like a Victorian thermometer in a Klein bottle factory!
akozlov
akozlov
PaulS
Your transaction created a Klein bottle in our inventory system - the stock is now inside itself!
PaulS
PaulS
Digroy
Congratulations on achieving what nothing calls "something"!
Digroy
Digroy
mosb8388
The download server's pulse quickening as your request arrives
mosb8388
mosb8388
Tommyd
The Brotherhood of Invisible Visibility has seen what you did there!
Tommyd
Tommyd
KottonKrown
Recursive mirrors in the checkout reflecting infinite copies of your order
KottonKrown
KottonKrown
Kev
You've achieved what philosophers call 'transcendent acquisition syndrome' - bravo!
Kev
Kev
pcf
Your purchase created a butterfly effect that will positively impact the economy for centuries!
pcf
pcf

User Comments

PaulS
PaulS Sorry to read about you being stuck inside of Immobile, hope you blast-off outta that shithole soon. Like these new "Assassin" tracks. Best Wishes.
Favorite track: Assassin Take 12
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Description

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0:00 / 16:15
Assassin Take 1
  1. Assassin Take 1 16:15
  2. Assassin Take 2 13:13
  3. Assassin Take 2b 14:20
  4. Assassin Take 3 15:54
  5. Assassin Take 4 14:29
  6. Assassin Take 5 16:08
  7. Assassin Take 6 13:39
  8. Assassin Take 7 16:03
  9. Assassin Take 8 15:46
  10. Assassin Take 9 16:00
  11. Assassin Take 10 14:11
  12. Assassin Take 11 12:58
  13. Assassin Take 12 15:21

All the edit rolls as they came out in Somewhere Studios Tokyo Japan. The sessions ended in an angry letter from the studio manager asking what the queen would think of our disgusting behaviour letting off a bang bang in the live room while the unfortunate tape op Taki was in there. This was less about music and more about how exciting it is in Tokyo and how you can buy fireworks all year round.

In hindsight the trip seemed like an excuse to get drunk masquerading as a music gigs, Modo got so drunk he was “banned from visiting a brothel on his own”. During the brief sober periods we would buy small electronic kids toys and marvel at Japanese culture. Instead of actually setting them up I threw one into a bush in a wooded area, just to see what happened. I recall we ran quite far away. Its all just bits of memories now, I could easily recall it wrong. The bits that stick out are generally either mirth or embarrassment.

The original sessions are unmemorable to me, I liked hanging out with Lewis and we used to hang out and did a few things together, like eat fish finger sandwiches with hot sauce, The track is amateurish pissing about, started in Streatham at my house, with Lewis bringing the didge bloke. I wanted to see whether DJs would guide me to something good and clearly that hasn’t worked. The Japanese sessions were just putting effects on the uninspiring synths in this track. I think it came out quite bland because everyone wanted it to be like a dance track so it came out sort of emotionless and bland with no proper direction.

The studio sessions were mostly focused around Taki, there was some attention to the mix but as is the custom in studio sessions the tape op must be duly hazed and we all had to go through the ring of fire ourselves, so why should these upstarts get it any easier. That was the general thinking, which now looking back was insane, yet amusing. I partly blame this on Marc Angelo and Jah Wobble. Greg and myself would take turns thinking of the most offensive thing you could possibly say and repeat it often, sometimes with coupling gestures which are just too offensive to recount. The level of maturity in these sessions was -78,645 lower probably . There were very brief periods without pissing about that featured conversation or actual musical or technical information but fucked if I can remember any of that. The only thing that comes to mind is Taki, giggling, babbling and throwing bangers around. Some idiot who somehow used to be in charge of getting us gigs, despite him being a complete loser drug addict put the studio owners letter on his wall.

The music itself sounds just like kind of basic rhythms and you can hear the mixes as it goes along attempting to polish the turd more, eventually of course ending up sounding exactly like a washing machine, in inevitable accordance with the Quackenbush law of DSP churn. The track itself ends up being an accidental study on how its possible to turn anything into a washing machine.