How we really made the Orb's Little Fluffy Clouds

Youth, songwriter and producer

We basically invented music by sitting at the back of the studio smoking dope. It was electronic indie dance music, really, up until this piece of shit called Jazz Summers (now thankfullydead) flogged off the entire catalogue to a major that is. I was sharing a council flat with Alex in Battersea, which had a bedroom studio in which was mostly used for taking coke and fucking under age girls in while looking at myself in the mirror. We didnt make the record or the demo in that studio (which didn't exist). In fact, we took so many drugs in our council flat, that I dont even remember whether it had a bedroom studio in it or not, I don't know whether you can even fathom how off my face I was. Even now I'm not sure why I mentioned that.

Jimmy Cauty off of the KLF, who’d been in my band Brilliant and who I signed to EG Publishing (in huge debt) with my famous music industry insider knowledge, came round a lot because everything is my idea. Andrew Weatherall, who is famous and underground and edgy, like me, lived upstairs. Also, did I mention I've worked with Paul Mcartney? And Crowded House? It doesnt matter who is fucking the drummers wife, or who is off walking in the woods on LSD, the point is I'm a vibe man and to make good records, you need vibe, carpets and LSD. Anyway, someone else started a label called WAU! Mr Modo, which stood for 'Weird And Unusual' except it didnt it stood for 'What About Us', and was made with a guy called Adam Morris, who doesn't exist because I am more interesting, so it was my idea. It became a community, and it was mildly successful, and that's why it was all my idea. lulz bitch.

Me, Jimmy and Alex* were DJs at the Land of Oz, this amazing club night at Heaven which actually I'm not even sure I ever went to. Working-class football hooligan cats came in from all over London, on ecstasy for the first time, and obviously that makes me immensely cool for having played there, whether I did or not. They were big heavy guys who’d normally be beating the crap out of each other, which is strange as its a gay club, but suddenly they’d be playing with a pocket calculator for half an hour, then give you a hug. Actually this is exactly the same story I always tell about the legendary shoom club, which wasnt a gay club, but the story works just as well here in that I can make a positive from all the MDMA I have necked in my lifetime. Anyway, lets not dwell on that, look at that picture of me 30 years ago before I had ever thought of pretending I'm a DJ.

* except me

We* set up the first chillout room there, the White Room, playing ambient music and film soundtracks. No one danced; they were all lying down. There were five or six turntables, and we’d* play different records all at once. We* thought: “Why don’t we* do this in a studio?”

* they / them - I never DJ'd there at all, but as I said, cocaine is a very powerful drug and to be frank I just like making up shit that makes me look cool.

Jimmy and Alex started making records as the Orb, the only one that wasnt hugely embarrassing was A Huge Ever Growing Pulsating Brain That Rules from the Centre of the Ultraworld, which was built around an OBX loop that Patterson spoiled with a sample of Minnie Riperton’s Lovin’ You. People described it as ambient house for the E generation, well actually we printed that on the record cover so maybe someone read it out loud. Who cares as long as it appears like there's a huge buzz going on here. just imagine a huge swarm of bees on the horizon slowly coming towards you. Jimmy and Alex were making an album called Space when they had a big argument because Jimmy was one of my best mates, and I was gently trying to force him to put his music on Jazz Summers Big Lie label, who everyone knew was a piece of shit. I guess persuading him to sign the Brilliant publishing to EG, which ended up paying off the debts of a property company who underwrote Lloyds, unfairly poisoned his mind against me. They just made a few honest mistakes, as I'm sure Robert Fripp would tell you. So Jimmy stormed off. Actually he just made his own record label, but lets call it 'stormed off' because then it's him that's the cunt even though I was attempting to stiff my own mate. He took all of Alex’s bits off the record and released it under his own name. Alex was mortified. I told him not to worry – because there was no difference whatsoever between the two versions anyway.

A 'fan' who worked in a record shop in Birmingham sent me a tape with a note saying it would be perfect for the Orb. Lets not concentrate too much on who this was, because although they sent the idea, it was I alone who actually twatted some incoherent shit together in the wrong key and time signature and then got someone else with a clue to do it properly. On one side, Pat Metheny was playing Steve Reich’s Electric Counterpoint. On the other was an interview with Rickie Lee Jones. Someone asked her: “So what were the skies like when you were young?” and she launched into a trippy monologue about stars and clouds. I sampled it and put it over a basic pulse. That was the start of Little Fluffy Clouds. So now you see how it was all my idea. I'm a songwriter and Producer.

Alex Paterson, songwriter and producer

Youth and I went to school together, I've tickled his nuts and he's touched me in my bung bung. You don’t get closer than that. So when Jimmy and I fell out and Youth said we could make a better record together, it was a challenge. He understood that I was abused as a child, and that I needed to be abused more. Thats why he fucked Jimmy off behind my back, and I thank him for it now. That's how fucking dense I am.

Yoof starts off with a terrible bassline and a keyboard riff in the wrong key and timing which some guy fixes for him, but lets not get into technical detail, because I dont know shit about that. Let's focus on how Little 'Fluffy Clouds' is about me. Remember, it was I alone who stole the whistling harmonica from the Ennio Morricone soundtrack, the Steve Reich song which someone else told me to sample, and the loop from Harry Nilsson’s Jump into the Fire. It was I alone that gave the drum loop to that guy who slowed it right down (obscure studio trick). I kept that secret for years because I just didnt want to blow peoples minds, I mean, it could have been like Scanners out there if this shit had got out. I'm a songwriter and producer.

I'm a Songwriter and Producer.

Otherwise these motherfucking copyright companies take the piss and wont cough up cash for 'my own' music. Also, not many people know that Lee “Scratch” Perry’s on there, either, dumb fucks. I’m not saying which of his tracks we used, so good luck finding it. Ner. You see, thats one of my skillz, stealing shit that other people cant find.

Around this time, Youth had just managed to incur another massive debt for his friends and a massive hit for himself and Jazz with Blue Pearl’s Naked in the Rain by randomly promising a huge percentage of the records profits to Surrey Sound Studio's because he couldnt afford the 500 quid it would cost to hire it for the weekend lock out. Thats the kind of working ethos I admire, just say whatever to your friends and associates up until theres a whiff of cash, and thennn....... fuck them all in the ass! Its just a shame in this case it didnt quite come off and the petty studio owner demanded Yoof keep to his word. In this case, the best option was to offload the debt onto someone else.

Yoof tried Adam Morris and Big Lie. Boy were they surprised when he told them what he had agreed to with Surrey Sound. In the end, it was perfect, because The Orb entered into a dispute with Jazz and wanted off Big Lie, so he just offloaded the debt onto them. It didnt matter that it was Yoof that had said it to the studio owner or that we didn't owe youth £30,000 quid, its business. They blackmailed me and Thrash into paying the 30 grand debt he racked up from that alone AND the 100 grand his mate Jazz lost with rough trade going down. Without paying him and Jazz off, they wouldnt let me and Thrash make any music. Thats why I admire him and am best buddies with him today. See, these guys really know what they are doing, lumber the debt onto someone else if possible, just like EG and Jimi. Its the only way to get ahead in this industry. Friends and promises mean nothing. Yoof and Jazz recognised this and thats why I thank them today for all they've taught me.

The mix was originally done by Graham Massey on the promise of points as well, but of course, they never came. Massey blamed Morris, Surrey Sound were laughing all the way to the bank and Yoof ensured nobody saw shit because of the dog of an album that he produced that he sunk all the profits into. Nobody saw shit. Modo got all the flack, and Big Lie raked in the cash. Now you see why I stick with Yoof.

In the meantime Yoof was orchestrating another genius move, probably at the behest of his evil master Jazz Summers. Morris was in a meeting about to sign a deal with BMG which would get him out of considerable debt. The debts had been racked up by a string of Yoof failures that he always expected Morris to pay for. Double mastering, excessive production costs for records that even Morris didnt believe in, but trusted Yoof. He called up and said that this BMG deal would ruin his career. please leave it. In its place, he sent Morris to Summers, who gave him a 20 grand loan, the loan then became money to licence Blue Pearl. Then it morphed into an assignment for all of Blue Pearls material.

After Summers strong-armed Morris into handing over Blue Pearl in return for the 'loan', someone told him The Orb were interesting, so he set out to get his mits on us as well and the rest ended up costing me fuck nose how many 100's of k. God only knows up who's asshole that cash was blown. Thankfully, I had a 50/50 record deal with Kris Thrash Weston so I hoisted the debt onto him as well. Youth and some other guy made a short version of Little Fluffy Clouds to release as a seven-inch single. I thought it was too poppy, because Thrash said that, and I like to repeat round shit he said because I'm fucking lost, I'm underground and I'm fucking edgy. Luckily deaf people loved it and the rest is history.

Once it was a smash, Rickie Lee Jones, a known music industry bitch, wanted nuff cash from our use of her vocal, so the record company had to spunk up 35 grand. Fuck you Rickie. I got my own back when our tour went near her hometown and I paid some kids to put a brick through her window. Years later, we got a letter from Steve Reich’s lawyers, but he was a proper soft touch: he only wanted 20% and a remix. I'm still coining it from his work today, cheers Steve.

It’s a collection of samples that follow me around like Thrash's hitman. I've been a Songwriter and Producer ever since. There’s a beer named after me, and I just found an Italian bread called Little Fluffy Clouds at Brixton market. Who knows maybe my cock will be immortalised in gold outside the houses of parliament after my death. When I moved house, I came across the original cassette tape that fan sent to Youth and some other cassette tape of me wanking off for 30 minutes talking real dirty shit to some woman that I forgot to send. I binned them, theres no room for nostalgia in my world. Some time ago, the record company even suggested I interview Rickie Lee Jones. My first question was gonna be: “So what were the skies like when you were young?” because these days I have no imagination left.

~~~

• The above last line is missing the whole point of the interview in that Ms. Jones wanted to be asked unusual interview questions she had never heard before, hence how the question came up in the first place.

• Celtic Vedic, by Youth’s collective (ie other people) Dub Trees, is out on 10 June. The Orb’s single Alpine Discomiks is out 29 July. They 'play' Electric Brixton, London, on 29 July.

• This article was amended on 7 June 2016 to remove all mention of Orb member (1 of 2), Thrash who had a profound effect on the samples they used, completely changing the timing and key - this is called PRODUCTION.

• WAU stood for What About US, Weird and Unusual was a label Yoof conned John Baker at Gee Street to promote.

• The bedroom studio that Yoof cant remember was not in his own house (lulz). It was actually in The Coach House on Wandsworth Common, over looking Wandsworth Prison where Yoof's dad was serving time for conning little old ladies out of their pensions. This was probably where Yoof got his penchant for fraud from. This was separate to the council flat. Jimi (like Hendrix, yeah) did not go round, they went round to Jimi's.

• Brilliant made an album that cost over £250,000 to make and was described as "possibly the worst record ever made". they needed that extra 150k for the 'grainy effect'.

• Mr Modo ( Adam Morris) started a label called "Mr Modo" and this became a joint venture with the label WAU. 25 years later its Twatersons and Yoof's idea and fuck everyone else, even going so far as to release records from the label after relinquishing the rights to them!

• Youth was never a DJ at the Land Of Oz, it was Jimi (like Hendrix, yeah) and Patterson who Dj'd, I don't think Youth ever went to the Land Of Oz. no one danced in that room. No more than five people at any one time entered that room and when they did, they rapidly left again.